I’ve had acne on and off since I was 14. I’m now 28 and still breaking out, so I know exactly how acne can melt away your self-confidence.
I know what it feels like to look in the mirror, see a face full of angry spots staring back at you and want to cry. I know how it feels to have social plans and have to make an excuse at the last minute because you feel ashamed of your skin. And I know how it feels to constantly compare your face to all your clear-skinned friends and wish, so badly, that your skin would just calm the fuck down.
I know.
But one thing I’ve learnt over the years is that while I have little control over my acne-prone skin, I do have an element of control over how I let it make me feel.
After letting acne control my life for years, I decided to use my experience as a springboard to build up my confidence and feel good about myself whether I have breakouts or not.
And even though I still struggle some days (don’t we all?) reminding myself of these tips and mindset hacks really does help get me through.
How to feel more confident with acne
1. Remember that acne doesn’t define you
Sure, you’ve got acne, but your skin is just your outer layer – it’s like your shell.
A bad skin day, week or month doesn’t impact all the other amazing qualities, talents, attributes and quirks you’ve got to offer the world.
Maybe you’re an amazing friend, maybe you make everyone laugh, maybe you’re a creative genius, maybe you’re empathetic, maybe you’re super sporty or maybe you’re totally excelling at school, university or in your career.
These qualities and achievements are still there and they’ll never change, no matter how many spots you have. Plus, they’re so much more important than your outer appearance.
And even if you don’t consider yourself any of the things above, know that you are super worthy just for being you and doing your best at navigating life with acne. That takes strength and resilience – and you should be so proud of yourself for that alone!
2. Keep saying yes to opportunities
Picture this: you’re meant to be going on holiday with your friends, but it’s the day before the trip, your skin has broken out and you’re feeling crap about yourself.
You could:
A: Make an excuse, cancel the trip and spend the week feeling down in the dumps.
B: Tell your friends how you’re feeling, go on the trip anyway and have the best time ever – yep, even with acne.
I know you know what the better option is.
Look, I know how tempting it is to want to curl up in a ball and hide away when acne erupts. But cancelling plans or opportunities (maybe it’s a new job, a new class or even a date) because of your skin is letting acne win.
You deserve to go out, meet new people and live your life to the fullest whether you’ve got acne or not. You’ve already let acne take hold of your confidence – don’t let it take over your life too.
If your main fear is what other people will think of you, here’s the honest truth: real friends do not care about the clarity of your skin. They just want to spend time with you and have a good time!
3. Join the acne community
Getting involved in the acne community on Instagram was a major game-changer for me.
I went from feeling like I was the only girl in the world with stubborn acne, to realising it’s so damn common – and nothing to be afraid of.
Even better, I went from assuming that acne was ugly, to seeing girls with acne who looked insanely beautiful despite their skin condition.
And that made me realise that I was still beautiful too, even if I didn’t always feel it.
I even started posting photos of my bare skin for the whole world to see. It was scary, it was empowering and it literally changed my life for the better.
So if you’re feeling alone and want to hear or speak to girls and guys who know exactly what you’re feeling, follow a few acne accounts and join the community.
Here are a few of my favourite accounts to get you started:
- Izzie Rodgers
- Emma Taylor
- Mim
- Acne And Memes (for an acne-related laugh)
- The Blemish Queen
- Me (casual self-promo…)
4. Open up to your friends
One of the best things I ever did was open up to my friends about my acne and how it made me feel.
I remember going on holiday with some of my oldest girl friends. The night before we went, I got a major breakout and was terrified of taking my makeup off in front of them, which, in itself, was ridiculous. But it just goes to show how badly chronic acne can impact your self-esteem.
I stood in the bathroom on the verge of a panic attack and decided to come out and tell them exactly how I was feeling. One of my best friends instantly said “well, it’s okay, because we don’t care! It really doesn’t matter!”.
It was probably a tiny moment to them – they probably don’t even remember, it was fleeting – but a huge deal to me. It made me feel so much more comfortable around them. Ever since that moment, I’ve spoken to them more openly about my skin troubles.
Moral of the story? Tell your friends how you feel and ask for their support. It’ll be a huge burden off your shoulders!
5. Recognise that everyone has insecurities
This isn’t me being like ‘omg other people have it worse’ – nonono girl, your feelings are totally valid.
But what I am saying is that most other people have insecurities too. And they’re probably too busy focusing on those to even give your acne a second thought.
We’re all our own main characters, but no one else’s. Read that again and remember it.
No one is noticing, thinking or caring about your skin as much as you are.
Next time you’re out in the world and feeling like every passerby is staring at your skin, take a step back and realise that in reality, everyone’s too busy thinking about themselves.
6. Put makeup on if you want to – and don’t feel ashamed of it
I know how judgemental people get when it comes to acne and makeup.
I’ve had the “If you didn’t wear so much makeup, maybe you wouldn’t have acne” and the “Why are you putting on concealer just to go to the shop? That’s vain” and “Why are you taking so long to get ready?”.
My take on this? If make-up makes you feel more confident, you’re entitled to wear it. It’s your face. Wear it daily if you want to. Wear it with pride and don’t ever apologise. Take as long as you damn need and if anyone judges you for taking time to get ready, judge them right back for their lack of empathy.
On the contrary, if you don’t want to wear make-up and prefer to go bare-faced, do that. Never ever ever let anyone tell you that you need to cover your acne for work, school or even an event. You don’t.
Either way, it’s your face. It’s no one else’s business. Never forget that.
Do whatever you need to feel confident and live your life – whether that’s wearing a full face of makeup or throwing your foundation in the bin and never looking back.
7. Put sticky notes on your mirror… yes, I’m serious
When you’re struggling with acne, the mirror isn’t a happy place. It’s all too easy to stand there, over analyse every spot, mark or scar, end up picking and then regretting it. I know that because I’ve been there too… many, many times.
That’s why I suggest buying some sticky notes, writing out some notes and reminders and sticking them on the edge of your mirror. It really helped me when I was feeling low about my skin.
For me, it was things like:
- You are not your skin.
- It’s going to get better.
And stupid little reminders like:
- Stop picking. It’ll make things worse and you’ll regret it.
- Step away from the mirror. Right now.
But only you will know what you need to hear. Write them down, stick them up and read them over and over when you’re having one of those moments.
I know it sounds so stupid, but it was like a little hit of reality that encouraged me to keep going every time I stood there feeling crap about myself.
8. Remember that acne isn’t your fault
One of the worst things about acne is the stigma that comes with it.
If you have acne, you’re ‘unhygienic’. Or if you have acne, you’re ‘unhealthy’. I know exactly how horrible the unsolicited “you should just drink more water” and “I take care of my skin, so have never had acne” type comments can make you feel.
The truth of the matter? Acne is not your fault. It might be caused by an underlying hormonal imbalance or food intolerance, but mostly, it’s just genetic.
The truth is, some of us are just acne-prone and others aren’t. I have friends who could sleep in their makeup for a week and not get a single spot, whereas I’d be rewarded with 5 new spots by morning. I have friends who can eat anything they want and have clear skin, whereas I always break out if I drink at the weekend or eat too much chocolate.
So when you have a bad skin day and your confidence takes a knock, try to remind yourself that it’s not your fault. You shouldn’t punish or isolate yourself for it because it’s totally outside of your control, just like any other skin or medical condition.
9. Seek professional help if you need it
Look, I know a few tips from some girl on the internet might not be enough to feel more confident with acne. It’s deeper than that. I get it.
So this is just a quick reminder to seek professional help if you feel that acne is negatively impacting your self-confidence or mental health. I know it can be daunting to make that first appointment and open up to your GP or healthcare provider, but it’s their job to get you the help you need. They’re not judging you – they want to help you. Plus, you deserve the help. Make the appointment. Make it now!
If you are having a really bad day and need to speak to someone urgently, you can get in touch with one of the following UK organisations for free:
- PAPYRUS: 0800 068 4141
- Samaritans: 116 123 — 24-hour helpline
- The Mix: 0808 808 4994
- SANEline: 0300 304 7000
- Anxiety UK: 03444 775 774
- Mind: 0300 123 3393
10. And lastly, be proud of your strength
Has anyone ever told you how strong and resilient you are for simply carrying on when you’re struggling?
The fact that you get up every day and continue to live your life, despite the negative feelings going on inside, is so admirable.
It takes so much strength to face the world when you’re feeling insecure or socially anxious because of acne or another insecurity.
You might not see it right now, but these experiences will make you tough. They’ll make you brave. They’ll make you resilient.
So if there’s one thing that should give you an instant confidence boost, let it be that. Acne feels like your worst enemy right now, but the lessons it teaches you might just become your greatest strengths.
10 responses to “How to feel confident with acne: My story & tips”
Great post Alice, appreciate the vulnerabilty and honesty it took to write this.
Hey Jyo, thanks so much for leaving a comment 🙂 I hope you’re well. Sending lots of love!
thank you for making this message, I know a lot of young girls experienceng this and I’m one of them. Honestly I been extremely insecure about how I look and its really drive me crazy. I remember, I also tried to kill my self because I feel like I have nothing to do in this world, I feel I’m different, I’m ugly, I’m insecure, no one will like me because I have acne. But now I slowly realize that show must go on. I should not be affected so much and just what makes me happy. I hope one day I can get rid of this. Honestly I’m tired to use some skin care that doesn’t have effect good in my face, I only use now is rice water.
Hey Anna, thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment.
I’m really sad to hear how you feel, but I totally relate. Know that you’re so strong for feeling this way and battling through it. You’re right when you say the show must go on – you deserve to be happy, regardless of your skin.
I hope you’ve found a solution and, if you’re feeling this low again, please feel free to reach out to me, but more importantly, seek some help – you’re not alone!
Lots of love, Alice xxx
Hi Alice, I wanted to thank you so much for your post. It truly is inspirational to find someone who can relate to how it is dealing with acne especially when it comes to social situations and seeing how far you have come in your own journey. Your tips have been eye-opening to me as a person who deals with acne as well because every post I read had the same advice that it was starting to be repetitive and some of these tips were not even effective. However, your tips are so interesting and different- to the point that I am actually excited to try tip number 4 and 7. I also wanted to thank you for including these crucial reminders like acne isn’t our fault- sometimes we forget this and scrutinize our skin when all that’s needed is a little love and self-care. Your tips definitely seem to come from a place of personal experience and growth and I would like to commend you on that. I’m curious to know how long it took you to get the confidence and acceptance you have with your skin now? Keep shining and helping others with acne!
Thank you so much for this post. It really is helping me. I am a 36 years old woman, and struggled with acne a lot. The last couple of years I got a lot of skin treatments, which made me feel so confident and good again. My skin was far from perfect, with some scars and outbreaks every now and then, but that was okay. I don’t need to be perfect, and it was good enough to make me feel confident.
In February I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I recently started the treatment. The medicins I am taking are causing acne, and so in a couple of days I saw the acne taking over my face without mercy. So eversince that time I feel like hiding under the blankets, I feel so insecure and ugly. While I realize I should walk proudly with my face up high, knowing I am fighting cancer and there is nothing to feel ashamed about. There is never something to feel ashamed about regarding acne of course, no matter the cause or the circumstances, I am just relating to my own situation here. It just goes to show how deeply disturbing acne is… I am still in the process of getting to the right mind state, and your post is definitely helping with that. Thank you so much!
Hey Alice,
My goodness, I did not know how much I needed to read through this to understand that I am not alone. Thank you.
Growing up I didn’t have acne sans the odd pimple that would pop up once a year or every two years. My skin was always on the drier side and my biggest issues were the odd sun spots I’d have if I didn’t wear sunscreen. I was one of those friends with the clear skin that you mentioned here- I took that for granted.
Last semester spelled out a whole new chapter for my skin, my relationship with my body, how I interacted with the world uGh when my cheeks started breaking out in b a d, deeply painful whiteheads. A short season of a bad mental health spiral coupled with the stress of my finals and rising pollution levels in the city that I am in currently completely turned my entire relationship with my skin upside down. I was battling concerns that I had no idea how to address. I had my preexisting skincare routine centered around brightening my sunspots to now having to deal with a compromised skin barrier, angry angry inflammation because I was slapping on high dosages of retinoids on my face because I was clutching at anything and everything for a fast fix but not surprisingly a new bleeding white head amongst the sea of already existing 12-14 lesions on each cheek would still greet me every single morning. The only new development I’d see would be on my pillow covers- increasing spots of blood from the prematurely ruptured whiteheads that seemed to grow faster than how my self-esteem was declining. It’s been almost 8 months now and I am nowhere near seeing improvement.
But I remain hopeful, I just acquired new, gentler formulations from the ordinary to try and see if I could start a kinder routine with my skin and I all over again. Sigh* This was such a long rant but it helped so much to read through everything you wrote and your experiences. I hope I can grow to appreciate and love my skin regardless of what it looks like. <3
as a 16 year old in todays society, it’s hard to not feel insecure about my acne and this helped a lot. you are so so pretty alice, stunning as a matter fact. thank you for this post!
Hi Alice
Ive only just discovered you because i was having one of those moments where i was spiraling in my insecurities. I have bad acne and nothing helps, it only gets worse. So when i read this i cried. I cried a lot. Thank you so much for this, its so honest and kind.
Are there more information regarding about this topic for us to research for? Thanks!